How To Stop Comparing Yourself with Others

We live in a society where we are constantly comparing ourselves or being compared to the other person. Taller than, smarter than, slimmer than, prettier than, richer than; the list goes on. We decide who is better than, and often, it isn’t always in our favour. Still, we go on with this toxic habit, hurting ourselves mentally and financially. Yes, financially.

But we can’t blame ourselves, can we? We were taught this when we were little. When we were celebrated for being better than the others and how popular we became because we were prettier than the rest. There has always been this comparison between one another, there always will be; how then can we deal with the never-ending pressure to be like others?

1. Accept Yourself

We compare ourselves with others is because we don’t accept ourselves. We want to change how we look, walk, talk and who we are. If we had the chance, we would change our names too; I’m talking about myself here. It is not wrong to want to change our unhealthy behaviours, but it takes loving yourself to see the need to improve on yourself not compare yourself with others.

2. Celebrate Your Strengths

Since we can’t completely stop comparing ourselves, the best we can do is use it to our advantage. Rather than dwelling on your weaknesses and parts of you you’re not proud of (which is lesser now because you’ve accepted yourself), focus on your strengths. Celebrate those things you are good at. those things people come and ask for your help, things you don’t struggle to do. Celebrate your strengths.

3. Celebrate Others Too

This is where you check your pride if you develop one as a result of celebrating your strengths. Celebrating others takes the urge to compare yourself with them away. It distracts you from the feeling of being inadequate with the happiness of others’ success. It takes away the destructive effects of self-hate, jealousy and comparison because you won’t experience them.

4. Stop Comparing Others

Charity begins at home. We fall into the comparison trap is because we do it ourselves. We are the ones who tell who is smarter, richer, prettier, more popular; name any adjective. We compare others, we decide who takes the position.  If we can resist the desire to compare and decide who is better at one thing or the other, we can resist the stop comparing ourselves with others. Why? Since we don’t compare other people, we don’t see the need to compare ourselves with others.

5. Set your Standards

The comparison is inevitable, but we can choose what we compare ourselves with. What goals do you want to achieve? What dreams do you have? What values do you live by? Let these things define your comparison. I learnt of something called Happiness Hypotheticals from Mark Manson. These are questions we ask ourselves that “not only force us to take a step back and evaluate our lives, but they can also show us what metrics of success and what underlying values that actually matter to us.”

Here’s an example: “Would you rather be rich and work a job you hate or have an average income and work a job you love?” – Mark Manson

6. Live Intentionally

Living intentionally is a broad aspect of living which will later be discussed on this blog. Be intentional about who you make your friends, how you spend your time on social media, and how you spend your time entirely. Your friends can affect how you see yourself, and whether or not you compare yourself. If your friends are people who constantly compare other people and themselves, there’s no way you are going to stop comparing yourself; they will compare you with others or themselves too. Be intentional about everything you do.

We may not be able to completely stop comparing ourselves; truth it, we won’t but we can reduce it to the barest minimum, at least to our advantage. Comparing yourself with others wrong will hurt the relationship you have with yourself and others too.

“When you measure your worth with someone else’s yardstick, we always come up short.” – Unknown

The more reason we shouldn’t.